Imagine rollin' around all day and night, until at least 10:00pm, in a wackass van.  A hecka messy van full of people, half drunk snapples/water bottles/etc. and a hell of a lotta vacuums in the back.









unfortunately our van wasn't even close to this clean.





We all have to knock on doors and then, if the people inside are nice enough to actually open up, we gotta convince them to go into the house and shampoo their carpets.  Then, if they agree to this, we clean up their crib and, of course, try to sell them a vacuum. 





This is what I've spent the past two weeks doing.  It is not crackin.  Granted these vacuums are hella clean (no pun intended...ok ya the pun was intended) but comeon, they cost over 2 Gs. 






For 2 Gs I better be getting some crazy device that cleans my whole crib for me while I be on the internet.  




I work wit a bunch of weirdos.  This would usually be all good cuz I don't consider myself "normal" in any sense.  But the other cats in the van included...






An 18 year old girl who was pissed cuz her parents bought her a Beemer and then took it away from her when she opted to drop out of school to sell vacuums instead.






A comic book obsessed guy who hears weird Dick Tracy style hat every single day and who's regular speaking voice is somehow louder than the radio we blast in the van.






A 20 year old guy who claims to have been the manager at the Northwest's only male strip club, as well as a dancer there, late night gigolo and all around pimp in general.





He actually seemed closet gay though and he was the master at sparking drama in the van.  For example when the girl sitting in the front (one of the few normal girls) said she had a boyfriend, he thought he'd be funny by saying,




"Haha ya does your boyfriend make out with other guys to turn you on?"





She snapped back,





"Oh no he knows how to do everything right if you know what I mean....of course you don't have any idea what I'm talking about since you take it up the ass and have no idea what it's like to please a woman.  Except maybe a blind woman maybe you could get a blind woman but I doubt it."





We drove home las night at like 11:30 and everyone was yelling at each other and nobody made a dime all day cuz we sold no vacuumes even tho we'd been knocking on doors in the rain the whole time.  






That's Tales From the Grind: Part II and that's also my last vacuum sales post cuz I'm quitting and moving on to telemarketing.  It should be way cooler...that's what Phonte from Little Brother used to do anyways.